No need to read. Listen to this week's lively post instead.
I performed it myself :)
“We’d like to offer you a promotion.”
“Can you present your work to an audience of 500 next week?”
Congratulations! You’ve been given an opportunity to shine. Peeps are acknowledging your greatness and giving you a chance to express it on a grander level. You have the chance to do something you’ve never done before. It’s time to step into a bigger version of you.
Oh yes! Wait a minute . . . Oh sh*t.
Many of us race towards those bad-a$$ fortuities. A number of us also shy away from them, repeatedly not rising to the occasion. I’ve done both.
October 2009: I was studying intensively for my fitness instructor certification exam. I was also involved with a few different personal development groups. The founder of one of these groups asked me to give a presentation on a topic of my choosing. I was honored. I was also terrified. After some mental deliberation I ended up saying no, having given the excuse that I needed that presentation day to rest up and finish studying for my certification exam the following day. At the time I thought it was a legit reason. In hindsight, however, the true driving factors behind my no response were fears and misbeliefs about being judged. Ultimately, I did not feel that I was ready to share my gifts. I didn’t even ask to reschedule my talk to another day. I just said no.
October 2012: I’ve been given a number of opportunities to do things this year I had never done before. I said yes to each stroke of good fortune, rose to the occasion and had a blast.
Three of those highlights were:
- Created and gave a presentation about mindshifting as it relates to fitness. The presentation was geared towards combatting the excuse “But I’m too busy to exercise.”
- Performed stand-up comedy to a packed audience at The Hollywood Improv.
- Auditioned my original characters in front of talent execs for a major network’s comedy showcase.
How did I go from “No, thank you” in 2009 to “Yes, please!” in 2012?
I will preface by saying that with virtually every opportunity, whether I said yes to it or not, I experienced the same lump in my throat and the same slight palpitation at the thought of stepping into the bigger version of me. The same thoughts infiltrated my psyche:
• Can I really do this?
• I don’t have enough time to prepare.
• I’m not ready.
• I’m scared.
• What will they think?
• How will I do this?
Look at all those i’s in my barrage of fear thoughts. Of course I psyched myself out; I was self-absorbed and making these opportunities all about me. The running theme behind those fear-based thoughts is the idea that I’m running the show. That I have to make it all happen. It’s all on me. God forbid they don't think I'm a rock star. Let’s call this my start-off MINDSET.
From 2009 to 2012, I underwent a series of transformations that contributed to my MINDSHIFT, different ways of thinking about the opportunities in my life. What ultimately changed in those 3 years was what I chose to think after the initial barrage of fear thoughts. Instead of buying into these thoughts, I chose to see each opportunity as a way for me to just show up, experiment, have fun, share my gifts and be of service.
1) Just show up. I believe it was Woody Allen who said “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” I’ve also seen the variation “90 percent of life is just showing up.” Whether it’s 80 or 90 percent, the point is to just get your butt on the stage. Preparation is important, but there comes a time when you’ve prepared enough. There comes a time when you must trust that you’ve got this and then show up. Forget perfection. Just strive for your best. Sometimes, umm often, my best is not perfect. And that’s more than okay.
2) Adopt an attitude of Experimentation. This one helped alleviate much of the initial pressure I had placed on myself. I approached whatever it was I did from a playful attitude of, “I wonder how I can surprise myself. I wonder how far I can go.” This allowed me to play around with the possibilities of what I was creating and freed up my energy to explore and do my thing instead of operating from the perspective that I have to be the best and get it right.
3) Have Fun. This one is closely connected to #2. I reminded myself to reconnect with the joy I experience when I do what I love. The stakes seemed really high with some of the opportunities I faced, but it helped to remind myself why I enjoyed the things I was doing. The joy trumped the fear all day long, during preparation and especially during execution.
4) Share your gifts and be of Service. Shifting the focus to a service perspective also helped alleviate the pressure. It’s not all about me. It’s about other people, too. It’s about the person who will greatly benefit from me having unleashed my ideas. It was about the audience members who did get something out of my mindset and fitness presentation. It was about the audience members who did laugh and were entertained by my stand up set. It was about being of service to the producers who were casting funny characters for their showcase. When I shift the focus to being of service, the fear subsides significantly. By sharing your natural abilities, you are being of service because not everyone can do what you can in the way that you do it. We all have our special stank that we bring to the table.
As Florence Scovel-Shinn wrote in her book The Game of Life and How to Play It,
“There is a supply for every demand.” You are the supply and there’s a demand out there for each of your gifts.
Nashville is one of my favorite TV shows. In one episode, country singer Scarlett repeatedly chokes during a recording session at a major producer’s studio. I love the advice that Scarlett’s partner, Gunnar, told her to help get her out of her own way: “It’s not about you. You’re just a vehicle. You have these words, this inspiration. Your job is to share it and let people benefit from the gift.” Share your gifts and be of service.
You don’t need me to tell you this, but fear is pretty much a permanent staple of life. It comes with the privilege of being alive. Fear will most likely never completely go away, especially as opportunities continue to shower upon us. However, what can go away is the self-talk that repels us from saying yes. When we initiate mindshifts about those opportunities and about our ability to rise to the occasion, our likelihood of saying yes and living more of our truth increases significantly. We continue to step into bigger and bigger versions of ourselves. When we look at the past, we realize how unrecognizable we are to who we used to be. And before we realize it, we find ourselves saying yes without missing a beat. Now isn’t that a very sweet place to be?
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